“And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” (1 Timothy 2:14) I mentioned this when I was talking about theology, but based on this scripture, I believe eating of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil was not Adam’s sin, but rather the result of his sin. So what was his sin then? His sin, in my opinion, was that he placed his love for Eve over his love for God. Men, whether you are married, thinking of getting married, or in any relationship that might lead to marriage, do not let your identity be wrapped up in that relationship. Don’t let your relationship with your wife, or future wife, define who you are, but rather let your relationship with God define you and your relationship with your wife/future wife. Take it from a guy who did it the wrong way. Based on the way I was in the past, I can truthfully say that I would have made the same mistake as Adam did. And did make the same mistake. I let my marriage define who I was, and when my marriage started to fail, I floundered for an answer. And since my identity was wrapped up in my marriage, I had no answers. Don’t wait until your marriage starts to fall apart to decide you need to let your relationship with God define you. You need to let your relationship with God define who you are and then that will define your relationship with your wife/future wife. What does Ephesians tell husbands? “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it.” (Ephesians 5:25) I believe this is not just talking about His death on the cross. But is also referring to what He said in John 10 when He was talking about being the good shepherd because, “I lay down my life for the sheep.” The word ‘life’ there isn’t zoe or bios, referring to the fact that you are alive or that you have breath in your body. It isn’t referring to giving Himself up to be crucified on the cross. The word is ‘psuche’, where we get the word ‘psyche’. Christ was saying that He laid down His own will, desire, ambitions for those of God. He didn’t say that He would kick out Satan now and take over to rule the Earth forever. But rather, so that we could know the Father as He did, He would humble Himself, and become obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. (Philippians 2:8) And, men, that is the same thing that we need to do. We need to humble ourselves and become obedient to God, the Father. And then when the storms of life come, you will have someone to anchor yourself in and then you can hang on to your family for dear life and never let them go and, I believe, you will be able to save them. I had an uncle that was an alcoholic and always fighting. He was considered a rather mean man, from what I understand. And my grandmother had the anchor of her life in Jesus and she prayed for him continually. I have heard that one of my aunts asked her one time why she continued to pray for this uncle, because he was never going to change. And my grandmother told her that she prayed for him because her prayers were answered. She had her anchor in God and was not letting go of my uncle no matter what. I don’t remember if she lived to see it but when he was around 60 or so, he finally saw how much he needed God and surrendered to Him. There was such a sudden and drastic change in his life, that some of his drinking buddies gave their lives to God as well. I say this to show that, if you will let your relationship with God define who you are and keep the anchor of your life in Him, then He will take care of the rest.
Now I know this post has been mostly directed at men. And is intentionally directed at men. I know Ephesians tells wives to submit to their husbands, but, men, they can’t submit to you if you aren’t submitted to God. It is your responsibility, men, to make sure that your house is founded on God. It isn’t your wife’s responsibility to set the foundations for your home. She will build on that foundation, if you have made the foundation sure. So don’t make the same mistake as Adam, but rather let your relationship with God define you and let that relationship define your relationship with your wife/future wife.